2008 Posts until now

Jan. 3rd, 2008 at 10:36 PM
Love is great. Love is excellent. To be corny and unoriginal, I love being in love. Even better is the person I love. I think I care about him more than anything else in the world. He's the person that has the ability to love and hurt me the most of anyone and anything.Yet, for the most part of the next few months we are seperated by about 300 km. I am only guaranteed in seeing him once a month. I miss him so much right now. It almost been 24 hours since I last saw him, but it feels longer. I've spent almost my whole holidays with him. He's held me, played with me, helped me out around the house, and slept beside me. I miss him so much.He doesn't even know.This is why I don't let myself get too attached to things, people, or too excited about anything. Cause I cry when I lose it.I cried before I left. I cried when he was leaving. I shouldn't have got this attached.

January 7, 2008

Dear Othello,
Why are you so stupid? Why is everyone around you so stupid? Can’t you see that Iago is manipulating you all? Well. Whatever. I’ll just let you go on your merry way.
It’s a tragedy. Everyone of importance dies in the end anyway.
Signed, someone forced to read your play for a 100 level English class

January 10, 2008

I am not single. Nor have I been single for over two years, almost two and a half now. I love it, and I love him. Being in love with someone who loves me so much back is amazing.
However, the stress of it sometime drives me insance. He’s still in high school until June, and lives three hours away. Until I finish school in April, I’m only guaranteed to see him once in a month. The feelin of missing him physically affects me and hurts sometimes.
A lot of the time, I do live a life of a single person. I’ll flirt, go out with my friends, and not worry about another person. However, major decisions, there is another person I have to consider. I can’t randomly pick up and move to B.C. without hurting him.
If I could swear off any romantic relationships with men, I could probably do so much more with my life. I would travel to Ireland, England, and Japan to do some studying. I would pursue my career in law, and then maybe into government to the fullest.
But I can’t, because I have another person to think about. I will most likely be married with the next five years. I will most likely have two kids by the time I’m 30. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love that. I want that. I want the family, the career.
However, next time I hear a person complaining about being single, I’m going to have to fight against the urge to say “Enjoy it.” Unless your 40, and have never been with someone in a meaningful relationship, deal. If you haven’t been in a serious relationship before the age of 20, or 25, make the most of it. Travel, enjoy, live. Make your own decisions for life. You can do what you want for yourself, and not have to worry about another person in the process.
I was going to go to school in B.C. Than I realized that it would break my heart to leave my boyfriend behind. Single people don’t have to worry about that.

January 11, 2008

It has taken me months and months to finally realize this, but I love my tummy. I love my nose, my arms, legs, and those teeny little love handles that take me out of the range of a stick figure finally. I basically love everything about my body nowadays, except the cellulite. But who can love cellulite? It looks like cottage cheese has taken refuge under my skin and is bubbling up towards the surface. But, it’s genetic. My mother, grandmother, and I’m sure my great-grandmother had it. So, I live with it. And if people actually take the time to notice it, other than me (or my boyfriend), they have way too much interest in looking at me.
I think everyone in good health should love their body. If they are built a little bigger, so what? Why should the media tell us they have to hide their “jelly roles”? If they want to show off their bodies, so be it. Power to ‘em. I’m skinny, and I don’t show off my body like some of the teeny boppers out there. Of course, I beleive in modesty. Underwear is part of my normal routine, coming off only to shower, use the bathroom (and well, other things). And I’m sorry if I don’t appreciate looking at your thong or butt crack. I don’t find it attractive, and the six people beside me don’t find it attractive. But, that’s just my opinion. Dress however you want, cuz public nudity isn’t legal (yet).
I beleive obesity is a bad thing, and people who are so overweight it affects their health and daily life should change their diet and exercise habits. But if the BMI puts you at 30 or 32, but you feel healthy, lively, eat right, and get around, go get ‘em. However, if your doctor is telling you that your weight, food, and exercise habits are putting your health at risk, love your body and do something about it.
I hate going to the gym by myself. I feel weird, except when I’m running the track. But it’s a cold walk in the winter, so I bought Dance Dance Revolution to keep me in shape. Just another way to show my body that I love it. I get it moving and not reading on my skinny ass all day. Yay me.
Please, love your body. Diet pills are bogus, anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement, and don’t believe everything the media stuffs down your throat, guys and girls. (Boys, just because your not ripped, and comfy to cuddle up to doesn’t make you fat. 5′7″ and 135 pounds is just scrawny.)

February 13, 2008

I’m one of those people. You might be too. And if you aren’t, maybe you are lucky, maybe not.
Stress isn’t a factor for those people, until it builds to the point where it physically affects you when something triggers it. That trigger doesn’t have to be conscious, but you will still have that mild anxiety attack and not know why. It can be something as stupid as someone not returning your call because they got in late from having their own life, and they were tired and wanted to go to sleep. If you are one of those people, and want to talk to the person who has a habit of not returning your calls for the reason that they have a life to live outside of you, than especially with all that stress built up, well. it triggers more than a small anxiety attack.
It triggers a fucking waterfall. The world suddenly hates you, but yet you know you should be thinking how lucky and grateful you are to have what you have. And that makes it even worse, because you know just how fucking selfish and fucking stupid you are being. Which detergenarates to you hating yourself even more, because if you are that selfish and that stupid, then you don’t deserve any of the good things you have. You deserve nothing, and should exchange yourself right away with one of those poor war orphans in Africa who deserve the great life you have.
If you are one of those people, you try to do everything you can for someone else, if just for the betterment of yourself, but guess what? No one gives a flying fuck. And you know that. Everytime someone forgets your birthday, or doesn’t even say thank you for something you thought of to do for them to make them feel appriatiated, you know that. And you wonder why the fuck you even bother to make those gestures. Is it worth that five seconds of the good feeling you get for doing something nice for someone else when in the long run you know that everyone is taking advantage of you. Yet, in every way, just by existing you are taking advantage or everyone else. So that starts the vicious cycle all over again.
If you are one of those people, when it all snaps for you, you believe you should be a bum on the street, because you are that aweful of a person. Your hard work is nothing, because you are so fucking selfish that you are only doing it for your own personal gain.
If you are one of those people, you wonder why half the time anyone fucking loves you. You’re such a sycophant, aren’t you. You try WAY too hard. You are such a kiss-ass, the only time your lips aren’t plastered to someone’s ass is when they are touching the air transfering asses.
If you are one of those people, than you should be able to give anything good about your life to someone who deserves it.
If you are one of those people, then maybe you should suggest (from one of those to another) what kind of nice medication will keep you high enough to not give a flying fuck anymore that no one will care when you make selfless gestures on Valentine’s Day. It’ll help ease the pain when you remember that it is because you are one of those people that you didn’t get anything, rarely got anything, and will probably barely get any thoughtful things in the future, for any occasion.
Cheers for being one of Those People.

February 16, 2008

So, what did everyone do with their Valentine’s Day? I happened to have an interview for a VP position in a university club (which I got because of my qualifications) and a lab quiz in biology. Horray! My boyfriend lives three hours away from me, so I did nothing romantic. My evening was taken up by laundry, studying for a sociology midterm, and dying one my friend’s hair a nice bright hot pink. The kicker? That friend is a guy. It was fun. Made him look like an anime character at one point.
But, I digress. The hallmark holiday is another 365 days away now, and those who are single have a full year to find someone to share the next one, or be forced to experience another Single Awareness Day. Those who are attached are safe until the next romantic holiday, unless of course you find yourself joining the ranks of the single.
Did you know that there are more than one St. Valentine? This “holiday” is really schewed. No one can trace any real, definite origin or it, or even a trace of an origin. Valentine’s day as we know it started sometime in about the 1700-1800’s. In many culture’s, Valentine’s Day is a time for singles to perform all sorts of rituals to find the one they are meant to marry. YAY!! Superstition.
Oh, what an excuse for couples to make each other feel guilty, and a way for the consumer society to prove even more the fact of hyperconsumption.
I do celebrate Valentine’s Day, but I would rather that it wasn’t spent celebrating by spending money. Breakfast in bed would be nice, or watching a movie on the couch.
Don’t blow your money on holidays. Money doesn’t equal love. The Beattles put it best: “Don’t have no time for money, ’cause money can’t buy me love.”

April 14, 2008

Because of the post http://lovemeformexox.wordpress.com/2008/04/12/inner-confidence/, and the numerous questions I’ve been getting from those younger than me who want to go to university, I guess I’ll elaborate on my experience.
First off, I was scared and nervous about going to univerisity, and I was heading for a city I knew. I have tons of relatives here, and my grandparents live about 5 blocks away from my residence. Yet, I was still nervous because I was going off to live on my own. Or at least semi-alone. I was also upset because I would be moving yet even farther from my boyfriend, who still had a year of high school to complete. I already hated being a half hour drive from him, and I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him only maybe twice a month (we’ve averaged every three weeks so far this year).
I moved into my residence the Friday of the Labour Day weekend. I met 4 out of five roommates I would be sharing my apartment with. And believe me, some first impressions are rock on (2 of my roommates I had a good idea about them right away when I met them and their parents), but some aren’t. Examples:1) One roommate, lets call her Y, gave me the impression that she was a nice-ish girl, who I could live with for a year. That impression changed. Y is a spoiled little brat who desperately needs to grow up. She brags, gets drunk, treats people she doesn’t want anything from like shit, has a superiority complex, is obsessed with her weight (she’s about 5 foot 1, and 130 lbs of pure muscle). Yes, I can tolerate her sometimes, but we both know we are not going to stay in contact after we move out at the end of the month.2) The one roommate (Mea) I met on the first night I thought I would be scared of her. For one, she’s a bigger girl, and looked like she was going to break me in half when she brushed by me in the hallway. She didn’t talk, kept to herself, and to be honest I thought she was going to spend the whole year in her room. This girl has become one of my closests friends. It was me and her alone in the apartment for most of the weekend. The other girls stayed with their parents in hotels or went back home for the weekend. We got to know each other, and we plan on living together for years.
My building is pretty sociable, so I made some aquaintances the first night there at a party a few floors down. And the two guys Mea and I met in the loungue are still our buds. One of them is now my boyfriend’s permanent drinking buddy (they have a lot in common).
I’m also a member of what is known as “the smart kids club” here at the university. They had a special orientation for the first year members, and the friends I made there are people I’ll stop to talk to when I meet them, and love to hang out with them. I met a lot of people at orientation, but I only remember a couple of them.
I’ve met a ton of people through my roommates and for writing for the university newspaper. Some people I’m sure I will keep in contact with for life. Others are good people to know for the time being. I guess it helps that I am an extrovert and can talk to people randomly. There is only one class this term that I don’t really know anybody in, and that’s because it seems I’m the only person who didn’t sign up for the class with a friend already.
I can’t answer anyone’s questions about guys though. I’ve met a few, and I don’t seem to have any problem with attracting them. But, as I tell Mea, I always have to turn them down because I have a boyfriend who I am committed to. Besides, boys are distracting.
Though I hate the homework sometimes, and question why I’m here when I am homesick, I’m pretty happy with my university experience so far.


And that is all my blogging that I have saved thus far.
Now for some new chapters.