2007 Posts

Jan. 4th, 2007 at 11:38 PM
Ever feel like you could just escape out of your skin? Like your soul could wrench itself from this mortal flesh and fly where you wish you could be right now? Right now I want to be beside the water, under the stars, in the arms of my soul’s mate. And I don’t want the world to see meCause I don’t think that they’d understandWhen everything’s made to be brokenI just want you to know who I am(GooGoo Dolls)I want to be outside with the wild, not having to worry or stress out about anything, to be totally and completely free in the world. But I want him there beside me. I want it all. The romantic evenings, the nights under the stars. You would think I just met him, the way I act. Love is funny. It does things to you that you can’t comprehend. Sometimes you love them, and sometimes it goes away, but then it comes back stronger than ever. You want to protect them forever, hold them in your arms. Snuggle up to them and fall asleep. Stay up all night then smile at each other all the next day, sharing your secret. I hate myself without you now(Marianas Trench)

Jan. 14th, 2007 at 10:49 PM
I wish….. I wish everything that made me happy could last forever. It’s a small thing to ask, yet it is the most impossible thing on this earth. Nothing lasts forever. Things always change. I just wish…..I wish I could spend one night just sleeping beside him, without anyone objecting, or making fun, commenting, or questioning the innocence. That peace I feel, the comfort of having someone’s warm, comforting body resting by mine…I sleep peacefully that way. No thoughts disturbing my rest, someone there to hold me tight when I am completely terrified in a storm. I’m too big to find that comfort in my parents anymore. I’m almost an adult, but every human craves that feeling of being loved and being safe. It’s amazing to realize that this one person knows something is not quite right with me, even when my charade is fooling everyone else around me. He can sense something is wrong, and I don’t know how. Maybe the same way I know when something is not quite right with him. Love, and be loved. It’s a very nice feeling. When my mother and other people say maybe I shouldn’t count on getting married to him, or being with him forever, it makes this shadow creep into my mind. By why should it? If you ask someone if they could be with that first person they loved (if the circumstance that brought them apart was external, not internal), I bet a good chunk of them would answer yes. Sure, that new feeling is great, but finding that someone that can meld into you like they are part of you is hard to find. The feeling that you’ve found a kindred spirit. A mate of the soul.

Sep. 13th, 2007 at 4:35 PM
In S'toon at university now.I've made friends, but right now I'm lonely.Know why?I really miss Derek and all that used to be familiar.I like my roommates, but I miss my familiarity.Oh, and kissing withdrawal.

Sep. 14th, 2007 at 7:03 PM
I cross it almost everyday now, twice a day, sometimes more. It's the crosswalk on College, the essential pathway of myself and every other resident at McEown Park. Oh, College, how I loath you. It is a very busy street, because essentially, it is a highway as well. Therefore, oppurtunites to use the crosswalk and very short and far between in time intervals. Many a time in the past week and a half, I've been running late for class and get to the crosswalk just as it flashes that damned orange hand. "Don't walk or you will get flattened" is what this orange hand says silently. I've come to hate the orange hand of College, just as the rest the other hundreds of McEown Park residents do. We all have to use that crosswalk to get to campus, and it's a pain in the ass frankly. I know there is a pedestrian overpass, about a five minute walk out of the way, and you have to enter it through the parkade. The amount of time spent walking there could be more easily spent counting silver cars speeding down College. I know it is an expensive undertaking, but that damn sky-crosswalk is in the wrong place. And it's not only McEown Park residents that get caught twidling their thumbs at College, numerous other students take the stroll from the south side of the university to arrive at College to wait for the happy white man to appear. We need to see more of that happy white man, but the migration of several hundred univeristy students on foot and bikes aren't enough to disrupt the flow of traffic. The city would never disrupt their timing for us part time S'toonians. It would be too much to ask; we will just have to wait. It's not so bad now. However, January and February are a different story. I guess we could keep warm and amuse ourselves by going back and forth across the Cumberland crosswalk. Getting across Cumberland is fairly easy. Lots of oppurtunity to cross Cumberland. However, there is also a lot of oppurtunities to get hit by a bus on campus. I've seen quite a few first years (myself included) have some close calls with the local transit industry. Cars, buses, taxis, other bicyclists all pose potential death threats to the ordinary pedistrial wandering around Campus drive or near the PAC building. Maybe I'm just a small town girl, and I need to get used to big city traffic, but another thought leaps into my mind: Aren't pedestrians and bicyclists traffic too?